You wake up in the morning, you feel great, even though it rains outside. You feel good in your body and cosy. You have a lot of energy.
You turn around and you can immediately sense: your partner is grumpy.
It’s so obvious. Your try to cheer them up, maybe talk about a topic they like or something you both are looking forward to together.
The only thing you can focus on is to make them feel better. To cheer them up.
After a while, of no success that is, you just leave. As a matter of fact, you start getting annoyed. How dare they don’t cheer up? You’ve really tried your best. So gentle and loving. You gave it all. And yet, they keep on being grumpy. Ungrateful!
Yepp, that happens. To you, to me, to everyone!
And hey, there will always be one of you being not in the “bestest” of moods, right?
So, let me tell you a little secret.
Stop trying to fix your partner!
What I want you to do instead is focus simply and solely on yourself. Sounds selfish? Oh well, it works though.
Really feel what is coming up for you when your partner is down. Do you feel annoyed? Do you want them to be happy because you are? Just feel what comes up.
And then nourish yourself! Yes, do whatever you need that makes you feel happy, nourished, and loved. Maybe that’s a little dance, a piece of chocolate (yes, it’s ok to eat a piece of chocolate every now and again!) or going for a walk.
Then check in with your partner. Ask them if there is anything that you can do for them right now. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. Let them know that it’s ok to be grumpy. We are all grumpy every now and again.
This will let your partner know that you are supporting them no matter what. And you won’t spiral down into a bad mood yourself.
Remember the Security Announcements on planes? I know it’s been a while, but still. First put on your own oxygen mask before you help others.
I know it’s not as simple as it sounds. Old behavioral patterns are stubborn. This is why I guide the women I work with to be as selfish as possible to have the most turned on relationships. Sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? But trust me it works. I’ve been through it myself.
But for now, I want you to click here to apply for my 1:1 coaching program Love Bliss, if you are ready to let go of trying to fix your partner and be as selfish as possible, to get the spark back.
With Love and so much Pleasure,
Turning Women on One Relationship at a Time